M. The whole ordeal had lasted only a half hour, but it had felt like a day. Shit, I had to be up for class in less than four hours, and I was in no mood for sleeping. Anxiety and physical pain overcame the fatigue that the hard sex had brought on. I sought escape, as I often had, in studying. I worked until 4:30, the peaceful rhythms of math solutions gradually steadying me. A Virginia Wolff short story, 'To the Lighthouse' helped me put my troubles aside. The editor's note said she had committed suicide shortly after that poignant story was written. There would be no such easy exit for me. The dorm was now silent; I took a solitary shower. The rush of steam cleared my mind. Then my strategy for survival occurred to me.Rick and Randy were just as trapped in our relationship as I, since if they exposed me as a transsexual, they would expose themselves as trannie lovers, little better than faggots in their jock world. The more time they spent with me, the more closely associated they. I couldn't explain it. I had never thought of Shannon in a romantic way before, and it was a very unnerving sensation.Then I reasoned that I was merely all worked up by the tension of the previous evening, so I decided to unwind with a little "entertainment". I perused my private collection and decided on a relatively nasty little flick involving anal sex. In the privacy of my apartment I could satisfy whatever sexual desires I wanted. And that was just how I liked it.I set the movie on play and nestled up into the folds of the couch. The video started off rather action packed. A wily band of female cowgirls were raiding an Indian camp and were chasing women and men alike into the woods, as they charged on horseback. The scene then focused on a cowgirl who tackled a male Indian into some bushes, where he turned the tables on her and pinned her arms to the ground. Then the music started and I knew what was coming. Grabbing my dick in my hand I rubbed the head softly, trying to spread.
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